Alzheimer’s Disease is a terrible illness for not only the one who is ill, but for those around them. This disease affects the brain and causes those to lose their memory. It comes slowly at first, like forgetting what they ate yesterday, to repeating themselves over and over again, and repeating old stories and memories that have yet to be forgotten. As this develops, they soon become distant. They are no longer fully there, becoming a shell of who they once were.
Art teacher Marla Schoening’s mother has had Alzheimer’s for the past 15 years. Since last January, Schoening has worked through her grief with her art.
“I went to my parents’ house over Christmas and my dad gave me the binder of the book that my mom had written,” said Schoening.
Fanelda Westphalen, Schoening’s mother, wrote a book titled the ABC Book of Marriage for her daughter in 2003. It was meant to guide her daughter through her upcoming marriage with each letter of the alphabet. Each letter shares a piece of wisdom on how to build a strong marriage. For Example, H is for Husband, W is for Wife, E is for Earth, N is for Name, and so on. Each piece Schoening created was based on the letter and her mother’s words.
“So I kinda meditated over each letter and all of her words and it was almost like we were working together on this. . . Every piece I did was a radial, circular design. Which has a lot of symbolism with your wedding ring, with the circle of life. The highs and lows in life that happen. So that’s what I’ve done,” said Schoening.
Sept.21 is the worldwide day for Alzheimer’s. This was Schoening’s deadline and the date for her art show. In nine months, 26 pieces, each corresponding to a letter of the alphabet were made. Paintings, both big and small, clay pieces, a mirror, and even a painted cello were all up for auction.
“Each piece had a lot of attachment with it. I connected with my mom’s words. I really thought about my mom’s marriage. . . Even though she is not mentally here they are still married. He is still very devoted to her. . . I reflected on my own marriage. How I want my marriage to look and how I relate to the words that my mom had written when I’m choosing the piece,” says Schoening.
Through this project, Schoening captures her mother’s message. That message being: marriage isn’t easy. You have to work together on a lot of things and you will go through challenges, but those challenges will make it easier to navigate through more in the future.
“If you’re both equally committed and equally willing to work through those things,” Schoening explains, “That’s what I think her whole book is about. Just being together with God in your marriage and doing it together.”
“A lot of times we do things that we like and we also get what we need and this was a prime example of that. I went into it thinking I was doing something for my mom and connecting to what her content was but ultimately it was a grief journey, it is a grief journey and I’m mourning the loss of my mom.”
Marla Schoening made multiple incredible pieces all while working through the tough reality she had to experience. Alzheimer’s is a very ugly thing, especially for those who have to watch their loved ones go through it. Losing the person they love while still having them alive is an indescribable feeling. Through this project, Schoening was able to connect to her mother and create something with her. The result being many beautiful and heartfelt pieces.
“I think when someone is dying of an illness that is ugly and it’s been ugly for many years, it’s easy to remember them that way. It was a nice reminder of who she really was at a soul level and that was really powerful. It’s been more than just the book.”
